With gas prices still at $4.00+ in some areas, the last thing  SMART people want to do, is purchase a gas guzzler. But you’ll still have fools like my ex boyfriend who goes out and purchases a 2007 Range Rover and complains about the gas/mileage (he’s an ex for a reason).  So along comes the Smart Car, which is being touted as the most fuel efficient vehicle thus far.

When I first heard about the Smart Car, I thought that it seemed like a great idea, because I assumed it would be CHEAP, i.e, affordable. Uh, that’s where I was wrong. If I’m going to buy a car that is about the size of a front seat,  it NEEDS to come with at least the basics, like a radio and A/C. Well starting at about $11k, you can get yourself a little two seater box but you’ll suffer in the heat b/c you have no AC and you’ll have to listen to yourself talk, b/c a radio is NOT standard.  In my opinion, that’s how the Smart Car becomes a DUMB Car. After paying about $18K (not including taxes/registration..etc..etc.), you can get yourself a fully loaded box, so that’ll put you around $22-23k.

Here’s some more “dumbness” out of the SMART car, according to a recent Forbes Magazine article Daimler Chyrsler was touted as saying that it would be the MOST fuel efficient car in the U.S. WRONG.  But it’s actually lower than the Prius, Civic Hybrid and the Honda Insight. So I guess claiming to be # 1 and coming in at number four isn’t that SMART at all.

I’ve only seen a few of these ‘boxes’ on the streets of DC and Maryland, and oddly enough they’ve all been driven by men. For some reason, seeing a 6′2 guy get out of a car that looks like it was built for the 7 dwarfs is a bit hysterical. My son for some reason thinks these are the new cars for kids, so he’s already put in his request for one. Thankfully, he has another 8 years before he’ll even touch a steering wheel.

I’m sure just like the Prius craze a few years ago, there will eventually be the SMART car craze as well. Thankfully, I don’t know anyone with the last name of “JONE’s”, so they will not receive any competition or money from me.

Redman loves his SMARTcar!

Recently I’ve been exploring the aspects of the ‘dating’ world and needless to say, it’s been quite interesting. So interesting, I don’t even know where to begin. The whole experience recently has been quite daunting.

Dating actually reminds me of a Starbucks. Although I’m not a coffee drinker, I do frequent the place with friends/coworkers occasionally. Every time I go, I’m amazed at the menu. All of these coffees/chai/cappuccinos/frappucinos/venti/grande are quiet confusing and so is dating.

I guess being that I’m such a picky person, I tend to dissect EVERYTHING about a person. I can literally size up a man in less than 10 seconds, from head to toe. It seems as though the men I’ve recently met and/or gone out on dates with all seem as though they’ve jumped off the menu of a Starbucks.

Mr. Short Caramel Frappucino

Typically I have a height requirement when it comes to me. I like my men to be at least 6′1, because at 5′10 I tend to tower over anyone shorter than that when I have on heels. This guy was originally from NYC so that was a plus and he’s been in the area for about 10 years. When we first started to talk he wasn’t shy to tell me that he prefer his women to work out. He wanted to know what gym I worked out at and why didn’t I go more often. I told him currently that I run after an 8 yr old most of the day so that’s more than enough for me. I also explained to him that although I probably could afford to loose about 10 lbs, that he’s way shorter than the men I would even normally give a second glance to, so how about him gaining about 4 inches being that he was only 5′8. What was also leary about him was his enthusiasm to let me know that he was a DC cop. As if that impressed me. So I decided to ‘name’ drop. Of course out of the bunch of cops that I know in DC he didn’t know any of them and specifically one from his own unit. How ironic. Gotta love a liar. In any event, after that first ‘date’ there was the automatic ‘disconnect’. Toodles Officer Short Caramel Frappucino!

Mr. Tall Vanilla Bean Frappucino

I’m a sucker from anyone with a New York accent. It reminds me of home and is always welcoming to hear instead of the country accents that I come across living in the MD/DC/VA area. So here comes Mr. Tall Vanilla Bean Frappucino. Originally from Long Island, tall (6′1), Italian guy. We talked about everything from how odd some people are down here, how we can’t find any good pizza or the opposite sex. Typically, I wouldn’t normally be attracted to him physically, but his personality is what stood out. The first thing he said is that I reminded him of Janet Jackson, but then he quickly changed that to PENNY from “Good Times”. I’m not sure if I’ve ever been referred to as ‘cute’ so many times in my life. We decided that we would have to hang out again and meet up for some drinks. The next day I received an email from him saying that he thought I would be ‘thicker’ in person. I had to blink and re-read the email b/c I think I’m ‘plenty’ thick…LMAO! No one has ever made any complaints about any of my ASSets. I told a few friends what he said and my guy friends think he may mean that he likes women with BIGGER BREASTS. FYI, I’m proud of my C’s! In any event, I recently spoke with him and brought up the email and he started to laugh. He let me know that he actually prefer “THICKER” women, I’m like damn. I can’t win worth trying. He’s not even someone I would normally ‘date’ and here he is complaining about my lack of “THICKNESS”! Damned if you’re thick, damned if you’re not!

Mr. Venti Mocha Frappucino

What can I say about this guy. I mean damn, he was gorgeous. 6′7, nice smooth skin, smelled good, dressed nice. Seemingly PERFECT physically. Our conversations were always great, so I really didn’t’ have any complaints until when we finally met, HE OPENED HIS MOUTH!

My handsome Mr. Venti Mocha Frappucino suddenly started to look like this:

I swear I couldn’t stop staring at this man’s mouth! He had the worst teeth I’ve ever seen! Brown, rotten, crooked, piled on top of each other!! Now, why is this man driving a brand new car and not have his teeth fixed??? If you have credit to finance a car, you can finance some cosmetic dentistry. I’m sorry, I can over look someones height, and a few other things, but TEETH, I cannot look past those! The next day I logged onto the Lumineers (a form of veneers) website and sent in an inquiry using his email address and phone number, hopefully a consultation will soon follow!

In any event, dating is hard work. You have to sift through so many damn frappucinos until you find the one that’s perfect for you. Then, who’s to say that they’re actually ‘perfect’ for you. I know alot of women who settle just out of the frustration of trying to find the one they really want. I refuse to settle, and in life, I’m not drinking coffee…I prefer my men to be similar to a fine wine. Plus, I’m lactose intolerant.

I mentioned a few weeks ago about the cookout I was basically forced into having at my house for the 4th of July holiday. Well being that my family is quite ‘different’, everyone wanted the cook out to be held on the 5th of July. Go. Figure.  I don’t even bother asking questions, when it comes to some of the decisions my family makes.

So of course a few people had the video cameras in tow. I have a cousin who is a news director at NPR, so she takes her camera wherever she goes. Thankfully, yours truly was not caught on tape. To bad I can’t say the same thing for my poor grandmother. She decided to display her pole dancing skills to everyone at the cook out and now to the whole world.

And people wonder where I get my [fung'ke]‘ness and lack of rhythm from. Just look at some of my family members. Please, try to contain your laughter if you’re at work. And certain people wonder why I never invite friends to family functions. P O N D E R O U S.

This weekend I’m attending the Rock The Bells Music Festival and everyone who knows me, knows that although I don’t listen to much of the hip-hop that’s played on the radio nowadays, I’m a fan of most that was played between 1989-2000. Sunday’s concert line-up consists of:

A Tribe Called Quest, Nas, Mos Def, The Pharcyde, De La Soul, Rakim, Method Man & Redman, Raekwon & Ghostface, Immortal Technique, Dead Prez, Murs, Spankrock, Wale, Santogold, Jay Electronica, B.O.B., Kidz in the Hall and Amanda Blank.

It’s a hip-hop fanatics dream come true!

I remember the first cassette tape I ever owned  was ATCQ (A Tribe Called Quest) and yes, I still have it. Then along came my fascination with De La Soul, posters were all over my wall thanks to my cousin and her supply of hip-hop magazines!

So in honor of the Rock The Bells concert, here are a few of my oldies but goodies! These are CLASSICS! I truly don’t think anything being played on the radio nowadays (besides the new NAS), compares to the music that was once played on the radio. Thank god for MP3 players!

Last night my phone and text messages were ringing off the hook, everyone was telling me to watch CNN’s, “Black in America”. Needless to say, I could only stomach about 20 minutes of the program. I understand what CNN was trying to attempt to accomplish, but it failed miserably. Where they attempted to have a ground breaking series, all it did was give CNN a much needed ratings boost.

This show was definitely for the ‘non-black’ population. It didn’t even tie in the fact that for centuries there has always been white priviledge in our society. GASP. Who would have thunk it? It did nothing to hold white people accountable for the issues that black people face today. From the slave trade (how could anyone forget that), to the crack epidemic of the 80’s.  Yes black people should be held accountable for their own actions, but there is always a cause/effect to every issue.

Needless to say, I’m glad I only wasted 20 minutes of my evening watching it. Besides, I’m “Black in America” 24/7.

For those who watched the show, feel free to share your opinion.

Do you want to know what’s worst than traffic on either 495, BW Parkway or downtown DC?

Mother’efers who can’t navigate through a gas station!!! I mean, not only am I forced to pay $3.99 at the pump, I’m forced to deal with dumb asses who loose all common sense when they realize that the gas station is packed and busy.

After work today I was hot, hungry and exhausted. Even though my work day usually ends by 2:30pm, I still had an afternoon of errands to run and a my truck was running on empty. Now, by my house there are two gas stations a Chevron and a Shell. My last resort is always the Chevron because they’re more expensive than the Shell. The ‘last restort’ usually happens when the Shell is just too crowded and there are cars practically waiting online in the street.

I noticed the lines at the Shell weren’t too bad, so I made my way over to that station. Please people can someone explain to me why people seem to FORGET what side of the car their gas tank is on??? Now, I can understand if it’s a new car, that usually takes some time to get used to, and I also understand if you happen to borrow someone else’s car and you’re not to familiar with it.

What are the chances of either of those being the reason why people can’t navigate through the gas station? Hmm..I’m thinking next to none.

Today, I’m was pretty much not in the mood to deal with nonsense. My attitude, on a scale of 1-10, was at 8 1/2. Did I mention I was hungry, hot & exhausted?  So I pull up behind a white Expedition and there’s a car already in front of him, so I figured when the Expedition finishes pumping his gas, I would have to put my car in reverse so he could leave the station. I waited patiently for him to fill up his gas guzzler. As expected, once he got back into his truck, he put it in reverse to give me the heads up that he was backing out.

Not a problem.

I backed up so he could leave. Pretty simple concept, right? Right.

I pulled up to the 2nd pump, and the other man that was in front of the Expedition was now in front of me. I wasn’t worried about how I would get out of the station because I figured:

A. The man in front of me would be finished soon, or

B. If anyone drove up behind me, the would have the common courtesy to back up as well to let me out.

Another pretty simple concept, right?

Well, the gas station gods were not on my side this hot, humid afternoon.

Of course I finished pumping my gas before the guy in front of me. As I got into my car, I saw a pick-up truck pull up behind me. I looked in the rear view and put my car into reverse. I moved a few inches in reverse so he could notice that I was backing up.

Of course you’d think he would follow suit, and reverse right?

Of course…………..not.

So I moved a few more inches back. No deal. He didn’t move. At this point I was fuming and starting to get even more irritated. The man in front of me hadn’t returned to his car yet. I got out my car and walked toward the pick-up truck and polietly asked him if he could reverse so I could leave. This asshole looked at me as if I was crazy. Ok, I thought to myself, maybe he spoke spanish. So in my best broken spanish, I asked politely again, if he could move so I could get out.

This mother’efer starts to yell at me in ENGLISH. Talking about, he’s not in ANY RUSH.

At this point, my Irish blood starts to boil. My foot starts to tap. I stood there in almost disbelievement. This mother’efer wasn’t going to move.

Why lord, why did this man have to push the wrong buttons today?

Before I could even control my temper. I start yelling at him asking why was he being a fucking asshole? All he has to do is move back. I swear since living in Maryland, I’ve never come across so many dumb asses in my life. Of course he yelled back, but I ignored him, got into my car and rolled the windows up.

FINALLY, the car in front of me pulls off.

Of course, this is when I pull off and forget about the whole exchange, right?

Negative.

I sat there for a good five minutes on a phone call and didn’t budge. But now, all of a sudden the pick-up truck that was behind me, who wasn’t in any rush, was in a rush. I looked at him from my rear view and winked my eye then blew him a kiss.

A few people who saw what was going on started clapping and was in tears from laughter. Today was not the day to mess with me.

Did I mention I was hot, exhausted and hungry?

As I was growing up, my siblings and I always lived in pretty diverse neighborhoods. Whether it was in NY or NJ, there always seemed to be a mix of white/black/asian/latino people. I appreciated the fact that early on in my life I was exposed to various cultures and languages. My best friend, who is Colombian, taught me my first Spanish curse words when I was a kid. Another friend of mine, had me saying ’sak passe’ in her native Creole language. Lunch time at my school in highschool was a smorgasborg  of international cuisines. We would have everything from Spanish dishes to Indian dishes. Not to say everything was this great Rainbow Coalition Utopian society, because there were still small cliques here and there, but everyone seemed to get along and respect each others differences.

I always wanted my son to have a similiar experience while he was in school. I wanted him to be able to make friends with people from varied backgrounds and learn to appreciate differences as well. So before he entered kindergarten I found the perfect area in Maryland and Columbia, MD, is about as diverse as you can get. I definitely enjoyed living in Columbia. The school he attended was excellent and the extracurricular activities were endless. My son loved going to school every morning, he would literally cry if he had to stay home for any reason. He had friends from every background you could possibly imagine. His best friend was Philip, a Chinese kid who had only been in the U.S. for two years, and although his english was not the best, they communicated and played well together. Their friendship reminded me of my friendship with my best friend when she first arrived in the U.S. from Cali, Colombia.

We stayed in Columbia for about 3 1/2 years. I felt that I was growing out of my townhouse and I needed more space. So I eventually started looking for a single family. Now the downside of Columbia, is the price of realestate. If you weren’t able to spend upwards of 800k, then trying to find a nice sized single family house was close to impossible. I realized I would have to broaden my search area, which led me to where I am now, a town in Prince Georges County, Maryland.

I love the neighborhood I’m in. It’s quiet, comprised of single family homes built in the 80’s and most of the people are long time residents. There’s privacy and unlike my townhouse, I don’t have to worry about nosey neighbors.

But unfortunately, that is not enough to keep me here.

So long Prince Georges County, for the sake of my son’s education, back to Howard County I go.

If there was ever a public school system that could be referred to as a “Historically Black Elementary School”, several of them would be in Prince Georges County. Now, I’m in no way saying that anything related to being “Historically Black” i.e, HBCUs, are negative, but when a county as rich as Prince Georges County, cannot provide a half decent education to the children of the county, that is when I have a problem. I’m not sure where the disconnect begins with PG County Schools, but they are doing a disservice to the children of the county. What is also disheartening is that these schools are primarily composed of black children.

The stories my son has brought home this past year were unbelievable. From students sexually harrassing each other (this is an elementary school from k-5), to the lunch monitors referring to kids as ‘idiots’, to a student telling the principal a strange man was in the courtyard and the principal not doing anything; the list goes on!

My son has gone from a student who was excited about attending school everyday, to a kid who has used every excuse in the book to not attend. The only positive is that although he hates the environment, his grades have not suffered, mainly because I do my part once he leaves the classroom. I’m not sure about any other parents in the county who send their kids to public schools, but I refuse to fail my son or allow him to fail at the hands of an inept educational system, so as of this upcoming school year, I refuse to have him attend school in this county.

I truly believe that a student can receive a great education from a public school system, but that school system has to have the means in providing a sound academic environment, and unfortuantely the proof is in the test scores that Prince Georges County’s school system has continued to fail it’s students. Maybe someone should remind them that a mind is truly a terrible thing to waste, especially the minds of young black children who are already becoming so disenfranchised at an early age.