Here it is, another summer of work related conference travel. It seems as though between May-August, I spend more time in an airport terminal instead of my own house. I typically don’t complain much but, when my travel coordinator decides she wants to put me on a 7 am flight to San Diego on a Saturday morning that’s when I become a little perturbed! So I’m sitting here waiting for my ride (THANKS, CARLA!), completely exhausted and trying to figure out what exactly I’m forgetting, because there’s always something. I’m sure I’ll figure it out once I get to San Diego. Thankfully on this trip I’ve brought along a travelling buddy and made a few friends in the San Diego area in preparation for the trip.
So, the first stop on my Summer conference/mini-vacation is San Diego…somewhere in between the first and last, I’ll be in Chicago, Seattle, Orlando, Cancun and back home again. Hopefully I’ll be able to squeeze in a little tanning here & there, b/c the fade factor definitely hit me big time this winter!

 

In 6th grade I had a very close friend named Parminder, I think we both got along because we were quiet and kept to ourselves. The one thing that always intrigued me about Parminder, was the contrast between her skin tone and hair. She had the blackest hair I had ever seen, and her skin was the color of copper. It was rare occurance for Parminder and I to see each other outside of school, but one day she invited me over to her house. When I walked into her house, I expected to see parents that looked just like her, but I saw two very blond hair and blue eyed people and that’s when it dawned on me that Parminder was adopted. Being the nosey kid I was, when I asked her about it, she told me she was from India and was adopted when she was 2 yrs old. I didn’t think anything about it until I was listening to the news these past couple of days.

In recent news, The Multi-Ethnic Placement Act (MEPA) has been questioned in regards to transracial adopting practices and procedures. Basically the MEPA prohibits race from being considered a factor in most decisions about adoption from foster care. Whether you’re black or white, you’ll go through the same adoption training as someone who wants to adopt a child from their own race. Statistics show that there is a larger number of minority children in the foster care system compared to white children.

Personally, I believe that it shouldn’t matter who adopts these children, as long as they’re given a chance to get out of the ’system’, but I do feel that if a white couple does venture out to adopt a minority child, there should be some type of ‘ethnic’ & cultural sensitivity training involved. I think these children should be able to live in an environment that provides the child an opportunity to participate in positive experiences with their culture, religion, and language. A child should be able to interact with parents who have an understanding what it feels like for the child to look different from their parent and also to have a parent that has knowledge of special dietary, skin, hair, and health care needs. Although there are private organizations who take part in similiar trainings, I think this should be mandatory and State funded initiatives.
One incident in particular that I remember was how Parminder would always lotion herself up through out the day at school and she would never want to play outside when it was really sunny. When I asked her why, she always said she didn’t want to become darker and since the lotion was white, she would hope that it would change her to a lighter color, so that she could match her family. When I look back at the years of friendship I had with Parminder, I can see where her parents failed her. She wasn’t taught anything about her Indian culture, she thought because her skin was darker than her parents and sibilings that something was wrong. It wasn’t until we attended college at Rutgers University, which has a large Indian population, that she was able to learn and appreciate her culture and embrace it.

 

During the Summer season my main staple pieces when it comes to clothing is a jean skirt, a t-shirt and a pair of flip-flops. I think I own about 20 different types of jean skirts. From the vintage frayed bottoms to the short mini skirts that are not suitable for bending over in.

My graphic t-shirt collection is forever expanding, I must have about 30+ vintage t-shirts. From my pink Assata Shakur baby-tee, to my practically worn out Jimi Hendrix t-shirt; it’s always hard to figure out which one is my favorite.

Well, that was until recently.

One of the many things I’m proud of when it comes to myself is my commitment to remaining “Natural”. The creamy crack (relaxers) has not touched my hair in about 15 years. The bigger my hair is, the more I like it. Right now, I like to refer to it as my mane, because it’s wild, curly, and definitely fits my Leo personality. So when I came across the Goddess Zuri website, I immediately fell in love with the t-shirts!

This Naugh-Tee definitely fits me to a “T” (pun intended):

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Goddess Zuri was designed so women could celebrate their natural beauty, in funky, edgy t-shirts that exude personality. There’s definitely a t-shirt to fit just about every type of personality!

Another one of my favorites is:

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For all of the women out there with “BIG ONES”, this Naugh-Tee should be right up your alley:

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For more information and to order your Goddess Zuri T-shirt, visit http://www.goddesszuri.com/!

 

I’m sure everyone has seen Chris Matthew’s Dateline series, To Catch A Predator. There’s always some dumb pedophile being caught with his pants down (literally) while they’ve been trying to solicit sex from minors via the internet. It never ceases to amaze me, that after the airing of these shows, there are men/women out there who insist on trolling the internet to lure young boys & girls.
Last night I was speaking with a friend who is no stranger to online dating. We were discussing how she’s noticed the same men on just about every dating site there could possibly be. The same men are on Match.com, Yahoo Personals, E-Harmony (those commercials crack me up), Black People Meet, BlackPlanet and even Adult Friend Finder.

These men are the new version of “INTERNET PREDATORS”.

Half of them aren’t even original with the information they place on these sites, what you’ll notice is that everything is just copied & pasted from one profile to another. They’ve definitely given up on the concept of originality.

The first question she told me she usually asks a guy, is if they’ve met anyone offline before. Now, you’d think one would tell the truth about that question. Right. Wrong. For the most part, the same men she’s seen on other sites, are the ones who always claim that they’ve never met anyone from an online dating site. I truly find that hard to believe. If you’re on several sites at one time, what’s the point in being on them if you’re not meeting women?

Even when I caught my own ex on Adult Friend Finder and even read the emails that he was sending women, when I asked him the who/what/when/where/why’s…he immediately denied any wrong doing. Even after I discovered his profile and set up a dummy profile to bust him, we were literally in two different rooms in his house corresponding with each other via the dummy profile, he set up a meeting/date time, he even showed up to meet this ‘dummy’ profile person; when I confronted him, he denied any wrong doing still. Adrian Nickyson, you have to be one of the dumbest ones out there, but the story will play itself out eventually :)

Personally, I think some men are addicted to internet dating only because it takes little to no effort. A man will send a woman an email, she responds, you exchange phone numbers and possibly hook-up with in a matter of days…and if they’re copying & pasting the same email to more than one women, that’s just about every day of the week covered with women.

But of course, the lie they’ll always use is, “No, I’ve never met anyone from the internet”.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Growing up my older cousin always had posters of New Edition on her bedroom walls. Buttons with the faces of Ralph and Ronnie were always hanging from her favorite pair of blue Levi jeans. I truly didn’t understand her fascination with New Edition. She would cry when I called them ugly, because in my opinion, they looked like various science fiction movie characters. I was definitely not ‘feeling’ them.

Then along came the New Kids On The Block! Next to Mark Paul-Gosselear from “Saved By The Bell”, they were definitely on top of my first white boy crush list. My favorite was definitely Jordan Knight! But then there was the Bobby Brown version in the form of Donnie Wahlberg, his heavy Boston accent was what pulled me in.

My cousin would tease me relentlessly because of my NKOTB crush. Of course she would draw the comparison to New Edition all the time. A few summers ago, I actually had a chance to see New Edition perform at the Baltimore Inner Harbor sans Bobby Brown of course, but I had to give it to them, I wasn’t a fan of them when they were kids/teens, but they did put on a pretty good show.

So in honor of NKOTB’s upcoming album and concert tour, here is a little bit of nostalgia, in the form of then…….

Hanging Tough

Step-By-Step

…and now……….!

 

Yes, they were cheesey boy-band music, but, look at what’s on the airwaves now….Boy, has times changed in 15 yrs.

There She Blows!

Last Wednesday was the last time I was able to breathe through my nose! Last Thursday was the last time I was able to taste any food. Today it feels as though I have a golf ball stuck in my throat. I seriously hate being sick!

I haven’t been into my office since last Wednesday. I’m the type of person who refuses to walk around the office sneezing, coughing and spreading my germs, and I appreciate the fact that most of my coworkers have no problem in calling out sick.

The funny thing about me when I’m sick is that I get bursts of energy out of nowhere. Today I was speaking with a friend in San Diego, and they asked what have I done all day today. So I told him:

  1. Cleaned out my two car garage
  2. Cleaned my deck and straightened up my patio furniture
  3. Pulled the grills out so I could get motivated to grill this weekend
  4. Cleaned out the shed and broke down some boxes that have been taking up space in it
  5. Waxed my wood floors in the living room and dining room
  6. Plucked my eyebrows

Now, if I hadn’t been sick, I would have quickly found someone to do items 1-5 for me (no one messes w/my eyebrows but me), but when I’m sick I have the strength of Job. I finally finished everything around 5pm today, so I retreated to my bedroom. All of a sudden, a wave of dizziness hit me and I immediately fell back onto my bed. I guess the wave of energy had to end eventually.

My son and nephew walked into the room and they immediately said, “We’re hungry”.

Damn.

After doing all of those errands around my house, I totally forgot about dinner! Soon after they asked the question, my phone rang, and I answered it. My friend Scott asked to speak to me, and I’m like, “HELLO?? This is ME!”, he said, “Oh, my bad, you sound like a dude”, wow, thanks, I thought to myself. So I gave him my woe is me story and like a true friend, he came by with pizzas and soda in hand! If I wasn’t sick, I would have planted a big one on him. He was definitely a life saver! Dinner was saved. And I was even lucky enough to have him stick around to make sure the boys showered and made it to sleep on time.

So here I am, drowsy, but restless. I have to pull it together to make it in to work tomorrow and on top of that I have a conference to attend on Thursday & Friday. Being that the meds haven’t been working, I’m about to pull one of Grandma’s home remedies out. Although she recommended some hot Rock & Rye , I think I might have to stick to something that won’t have me hung over in the morning!

So if anyone has any home remedies for a sore throat, cough, stuffy nose and post nasal, please by all means, let me know!

Bird Flu ~M.I.A

 

Moldy Men

To the right, that’s a piece of molded bread. Molding is a natural process for bread once it’s been sitting around after about two weeks. Eventually it starts to get that moldy smell, and soon the spores sprout and mold forms. It not only happens to bread, but just about anything if you let it sit around long enough.
Even men.
Have you ever met a man that you weren’t immediately attracted to? You hang out a few times, but you still can’t say that he’s someone you can see yourself involved with? Even though he seems to have everything going for him, there’s just something that isn’t giving you that immediate feeling of attraction. It could be either his looks, something about his personality, maybe his head is too big for his neck, or he’s just an inch shorter than what you’re used to?
But instead of severing ties with this person, because there’s no need in stringing him along, you allow him to ‘grow’ on you like mold.
There have been several times in the span of my dating career (yeah, I call it a career b/c it’s hard ass work sometimes) where that initial attraction wasn’t there, but I said to myself, “Maybe, I’ll just see what happens”.
Now, not to sound superficial, but the initial attraction to me is always purely physical. So needless to say, my moldly men have included men who instead of having a six pack, may have had a keg, instead of having smooth perfect skin, may have had a few razor bumps, instead of having a perfect set of teeth, usually had either a set that could have belonged to a rabbit, or something with a gap as big as the Suez Canal.
If only these men realized from the get-go, that I was making concessions for them, because of something that I may have saw in their personality. Maybe I should have shown them photos of my past boyfriends, which included the ‘model’ types, because maybe, just maybe if I did, then their egos would have not superceeded their aesthetically challenged looks.

I was talking to a cousin of mine the other day, and we realized that all of the “Moldly Men” we have dated, whether it took their looks to grow on us or their personality, it backfired in the worst ways! Some of these men turned out to be some of the biggest assholes ever. I half seriously and half jokingly told her that I refuse to get suck in by someone who I think could grow on me. For now on, if there isnt’ that immediate attraction, be it physical or mental, I’m not going to let them mold on me, but fold them away like an old outfit that I never plan on wearing again. Because in the long run, I think I’d rather go about my life knowing that if I happened to break up with someone or vice versa, it was someone who there was that immediate ‘click’ with, not with someone that I had to make concessions for.

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